Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Not that I sort of like the album maybe a tiny bit or anything

After reading this review of the new Modest Mouse record, I'm forced to conclude that Peter Hepburn has no soul. If you opened up the guy's chest, you would find a gaping sphincter where most people store their immortal ethereal beings. I think that might explain how he could write such a horribly gray, soggy, boring, prideless, safe, stable, stale, rote, terrible, nebulous, over-long, formless, repetitive, pointless, annoying, poorly written, overproduced, smelly music review.

To quote Dom Sinacola (whose idea of a good time, after reading his track review of "Parting of the Sensory," I suspect must involve sitting at home having absolutely no fun at all, ever): "I seem angry. I am angry, and I get cheap when I'm mad." Well, yeah, you boys went cheap; consider this your change: hang it up and call it quits while you can still remember the memory of a time you could consider now and then cracking your critical faces with smiles.

1 comment:

Avery said...

I just listened to the album for the first time on my way to work yesterday.

Liked it a lot, though didn't get a chance to really pay attention to the lyrics.

Can't wait to listen to it when the weather breaks.

Regarding the review: dude seems to swing with the crowd that's all pissed because Modest Mouse has sorta hit the mainstream. God forbid a band could be both original and popular.

The earth might suddenly wake from its slumber, offer a wide yawn and in so doing, burp and accidentally swallow us whole.