Monday, January 29, 2007

Coffee, books, and sex appeal

Here's a handy guide to help you figure out where you land on the TDAOC Hierarchy of Sex Appeal:

  1. If you are Julianne Moore, you are the sexiest person in the room.

  2. If Julianne Moore is not in the room, and if you are handing me a cup of coffee, you are the sexiest person in the room, regardless of how you are dressed.

  3. If you are Julianne Moore, and you are handing me a cup of coffee, you are impossibly perfect, and my brain would rather melt than attempt to comprehend the mythical levels of your sex appeal.

  4. While the remaining levels of the hierarchy are completely predictable to anybody who follows the adventures and thinkings of the TDAOC staff while yet being far too complex and intricate to be accurately written out in a hierarchical format, it may be suggested that one's stature may potentially be enhanced via use of certain advanced mate-attracting pheromonal scent technologies. While first-hand scientific analysis of this theory has yet to be performed, grant application study proposals are being accepted for review.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Purchased the CB scent for purely scientific reasons along with Miskatonic University. I'd been meaning to buy stuff from these sites for a while. Your post just gave me a reason.

Egoinway, The Writings of artist Jim Morana said...

awesome

Barking Kitten said...

Given your earlier comments on Jennifer Egan, I'd have to say you definitely go in for the aristocratic type. Kristin Scott Thomas and Cate Blanchett could probably bring you coffee, too.

Except I think Kristin isn't very tall. Does that take her out of the running?

Darby M. Dixon III said...

W-RC: Science is awesome, isn't it?

E: I try.

BK: Height is hardly a pre-req. I certainly would not refuse of a cup of coffee with either Kristin or Cate.