Pynchon Watch Y2K6: Guest column by Jerry Maguire's Ray Boyd

Note from the Editors: With the release date for Thomas Pynchon's latest novel, Against the Day, closing in faster than a V-2 rocket with your name on it, the word "excited" doesn't even begin to capture the mood across America. From sea to shining sea, from boardrooms to breakrooms, from breakfast to dinner, people--just how many might surprise you!--are getting pumped up like bicycle tires in the cold hard vacuum of space. No, seriously: we just saw some guy who was standing in a bus stop literally explode with anticipation. We think he might have even peed himself a little, before he blew up, but he was on the other side of the street, there was a lot of traffic, so we couldn't tell for certain. In honor of this upcoming event, we here at TDAOC today are proud--you might say we are almost ticklish with spring-like joy--to launch a new series of guest columns devoted to an initial and rushed, yet hard-hitting and in-depth, critical analysis of the new Pynchon tome. Our first--and, quite possibly, last, because we're pretty sure this one opens and closes and burns the book on anything that can be said of interest of a Pynchon text--guest column was phoned in to TDAOC HQ by Ray Boyd, that lovable, wise-cracking scamp from the movie Jerry Maguire.

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DID YOU KNOW THAT THE HUMAN HEAD WEIGHS EIGHT POUNDS?

DID YOU KNOW THAT DOGS AND BEES CAN SMELL FEAR?

DID YOU KNOW THAT At 3 lbs. 6 oz., Against the Day weighs just 3 oz. less than my toaster?

DID YOU KNOW THAT MY NEIGHBOR HAS THREE RABBITS?