We built this city on soup cans and crabs

You know what this city needs? More Erin O'Brien. The Free Times is doing its part by giving her a regular column. She's written for them before--she notes that past columns have dealt with "the local race track and masturbation and crossdressers." So you know it's gonna be fun.

Admit it, you know you love her, if for no other reason than she also hates it when I act all smart and crap.