On alien farts and sex appeal

I don't like the word "blog". Actually, I detest the word. I'm sorry, but "blog" just isn't sexy enough for what we're doing here. Here we are, forging a publishing revolution on par with the invention of the printing press, bringing push-button publication to the masses, allowing every Joe Shmoe on the street to play armchair President, and we go off and give our tool, our mode, our way of being the name of the sound of an alien's fart. Even then, the word's not even sexy enough to describe the gastrointestinal distress of an otherworldly being. I'm sure you can imagine the word in use in polite KliXtHi'an conversation:

Alien 1: Aww Qu'xth'rp, did you just blog?

Alien 2: *sheepish tentacle waver*

Alien 3: GHT'plo&k! That word, it stinks!

See, the tool, it's got to sound hot. Like: I love to write on my ThinkPad laptop. And I tell you this: whoever came up with these terms, they knew what they were doing. See, laptop, that's a sexy word. It's got a sort of hip-hop street rhythmic sensuality to it, internal rhyme, juxtaposing vowel vocalizations. Mmm. Sexy. And my laptop, made by IBM, is a ThinkPad. Again: ThinkPad. Sexy. It's got style, it's got attitude, it's got rhythm. It's got thought right there inside it! I love thought! Thought makes me happy! Put them together: my ThinkPad laptop. We've just merged the mind and the crotch into one luscious object of writing bliss! My ThinkPad laptop: Brains! Body! It's everything I look for in a woman! But it's in a computer! Sign! Me! Up!

So I say we do away with the term blog. I'm open to suggestion on replacement terms. I've come up with a few to get discussion started:

• Sex. Let's just call it sex. There's plenty of words that have multiple meanings, and I don't see why sex shouldn't get another meaning added on to it. Everyone loves sex appeal, and once the blogging revolution is linked directly to sex, nobody will be able to doubt its sexiness. Example useage: "Did you check out that sex I told you about last night?" "I totally sexed that link." "Hey, you need to check out my sex, go to iamascientist.sexspot.com, then sign up for an account at www.sexxer.com so you can sex my sex with your sex." "Push-button sexing for the masses."
• Ok, I had some other ideas, but I think it's obvious that none of them will be nearly as perfect as sex. Obviously.